All posts by American Texan

Loss of a Title

As I look forward to holding my baby in my arms, I have done quite a bit of thinking on how motherhood is changing my life.

It has been interesting answering the question, “Well, what are you doing with your life?” As a student at a highly recognized college, I was used to receiving many affirming looks and comments. My status as a student was, in a very real way, my identity.

Recently, I was introduced as a “former college student”, and when asked if I had already graduated, I had to say no. I was under no obligation to explain myself to a stranger, but I definitely felt cooler air as her disapproval showed.

Our society ranks things differently than I do. A college degree is important in its own right, but raising my child is much more important to me.

There are definitely times I miss my life as a college student; I had great professors, classmates and I loved my degree program. However, I’ll gladly give up the title “student” and replace it with “mother”.

For Better Or For Worse
For Better Or For Worse

Thoughts on Marriage- Part 2 of Infinity

Great minds think alike, right?

I was mulling over different things about marriage and contemplating writing something, when I went to ipandora and saw that Matt had already beat me to it.

So while some of this may be similar, here are thoughts on marriage from the wife’s perspective.

I tell Matt I love him often. Telling him that is not enough for me, I have to think of ways to show him that I love him.

Sometimes that is very hard to do. Like Matt said, you realize how selfish you are in marriage.

I’m a pretty independent person, so it definitely takes some work on my part.

I have to consciously think of how I’m going to show Matt that I love him.

Sometimes that is by watching a movie I don’t think I’ll enjoy because he wants to see it. (and I found out that I did enjoy the movie)

Or by realizing that he has been working hard, too, and that some time playing computer games is what he needs to relax and unwind.

Also, it’s better to give him something concrete to do to help you, rather than just inwardly fuming over him relaxing when you are working. Don’t expect them to read your mind on what you need done.

This morning, for example, I was fixing Matt’s lunch. I had a jar of tomato sauce that I couldn’t open, so I brought it to Matt and handed it to him.

It was fun to watch the smile he got on his face when I handed him the jar. He quickly opened it, no problem.

Now, I could have stayed in the kitchen and pounded around the lid the end of a butter knife (this really does work, by the way) until I could open the jar, but I didn’t. Matt likes to feel needed and this was one small way I could do that.

He feels loved when I need him. Even if it’s just to open a jar of tomato sauce.

Then there was the realization that even a selfless act can be selfish if it makes him feel bad.

Matt has been sleeping by himself on the queen bed for months, and the other night, well, I guess he forgot he had someone to share it with now.

He was taking up a rather large amount of space and by the time I realized it, he was already fast asleep. (I envy his ability to fall fast asleep in two minutes…) I had just enough space and so decided to deal with it instead of waking him up.

Well, over the next two hours, he edged himself closer and closer to my side of the bed. I tried to gently push him back and he didn’t budge. So when it got to the point that I was about to fall off the bed, I took my pillow and a blanket and moved to the couch.

I didn’t wish to wake him because he had to be at work early and needed his sleep. However, I didn’t think about how he would feel when he found me sleeping on the couch the next morning. He felt horrible and would’ve rather had me wake him up.

If there’s a next time, I’ll have to think of some ingenious way to wake him up. [evil grin]

So there are lots of lessons to be learned in marriage, and I know I have just barely scratched the surface. The next 50 years should be interesting, so stay tuned for updates! 🙂

If God Were Not Jealous…

…He would be an idolater.

Think about it- God is jealous to protect His honor, His glory. God’s jealously is righteous because He wants to be recognized for who He is.

Some Biblical support:

Exodus 20:5 “You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me”

Exodus 34:14 “(for you shall worship no other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God)”

Deuteronomy 4:24 “For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God.”

Deuteronomy 5:9 “You shall not bow down to them or serve them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me,”

Isaiah 48:11 “For my own sake, for my own sake, I do it, for how should my name be profaned? My glory I will not give to another.”

(I included Exodus 20:5 and Deuteronomy 5:9 because when God repeats something in Scripture, He means business)

God alone is deserving of all honor and glory. God is right to view Himself as the One of ultimate value. If He were not jealous about protecting this, it would mean that He sees something else as more important than Himself.

If that were the case, God be an idolater.

Thoughts? Objections?

Unfairness

He will get the best care possible.” – Katie Couric about Kennedy’s cancer

I’m not saying Kennedy doesn’t deserve the best care possible; but here’s a question, why does he, more than anyone else, deserve the best care possible? Because he is a well-known senator?

I have a friend who is undergoing tests soon to see if she has a fast-moving terminal form of cancer. This friend is kind, caring, loyal, and very deserving of quality care.

Kennedy will get the best possible care because he will pay for it. Either with the superb insurance plans covering members of government which they vote for themselves, or because of the relatively limitless extent of his financial ability or those who will donate to his medical bills.

Katie Couric uses her “Notebook” session to point out that Kennedy has fought hard for making the same care that is available to him available to every American (legal or not). The problem with this is one perhaps best summed up by Thomas Sowell in his recent series of articles titled “Too “Complex”?” (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3): It’s economics that provide the true and lasting solutions, but economics doesn’t bleed, and politics follows blood.

This friend of mine is bright and sweet, she’s young and incredibly skilled. If anyone deserves a future, she does. She’s articulate and thoughtful, her life is well examined. She’s tenacious and self-reliant, taking high loads of classes at a tough school while working to pay the bills.

She’d be an preeminent poster child for any socialized medicine program.

With the socialized medicine Senator Kennedy has fought for being such a good thing, why have we not gone for it already? After all, it’s been tried elsewhere, it must have been successful, right?

Well, most readers know how successful it has been. Failure.

If socialized medicine, such as that promoted by Senators Kennedy and Clinton, were the reality in America, it would be hell.

As it is, my friend is able to fly to across the country on a few days notice, receive a biopsy, get the results back within a matter of hours, and have a reliable diagnosis presented to her.

It costs money, but with friends paying for her airline ticket, and her doctor asking a colleague for a favor, she can get her procedure done in time to participate in an international internship if the prognosis is good.

If there were socialized medicine here in the US, she would be shunted into a line, put on a waiting list, told to wait her turn.

In a system with little or no incentive either to self-regulate our medical needs or limit considered options to necessary procedures, there would be bloated numbers of people seeking medical help for slight and psychosomatic symptoms.

With the fast-moving nature of the cancer my friend may be suffering from, there is little chance she’d even make it in for an exam, let alone a biopsy, before she died.

May Senator Kennedy enjoy the benefits of a capitalistic medical system, and may his efforts to deny that benefit to the rest of us perish.

**Written by both American Texan and Matthew**