As of a few days ago, Grace and I’ve been married 9 months. And our son is due to emerge into the world in 3 more months.
Marriage has settled down a little, perhaps. I feel safe and comfortable around my wife and maybe take her a little for granted, too. I’m less and less capable of imagining myself in a single state and marriage, such as my wife and I enjoy, is my default position, as it were.
As the seasons change and weather brightens, the days lengthen and warm, and the sun climbs higher in the sky, there is less of a ‘stuck’ feeling in being cooped up in the apartment together and more of an “I prefer being with her” choice.
Not to say I didn’t enjoy cuddling with my wife and enjoying her closeness and proximity during the winter, but there is something about no longer being compelled by the elements that makes marriage even better to me.
And she’s growing. Our son and his accompanying entrails and apparatus are definitely showing in Grace and we both enjoy feeling him move about. Or, I enjoy it all the time, and sometimes she doesn’t. Like when he pushes on the inside of her ribs, or when she’s trying to sit still in church. Our son really becomes active in church, it seems.
In 3 months he’s scheduled to make his grand debut, and I’m facing fatherhood.
The pregnancy website told me today I’m experiencing hormonal swings right now: testosterone levels are falling and estrogen levels are rising. So the lipstick and nail polish I’m wearing are completely understandable. It’s the high heels I can’t seem to explain away.
In a darwinian perspective, this is my body working against my darwinian male desires for independence to create a nurturing ability in me.
In a Christian perspective, I’m amazed that God made these natural systems that work just so changing the very attitudes through the chemical balance of the male to bring about a more nurturing attitude.
But all that to say: Summer is coming, life is good and getting better, I can’t wait to meet my son (I finished painting his room and we’ve nearly got all the furniture we need for him), and I (still) love my wife.
I’m truly blessed beyond all measure and thank God for His amazing work in my life heretofore.
Now for the future.