I’ve been married a week and a half now, and it’s still kinda surreal.
I left my ring home one day and it wasn’t until my wife texted me asking if I was missing something that I realized it was not around my finger.
Knowing I’m going home to her, getting to share my evenings, nights, mornings, and weekends with her, that is something very new for me.
I’ve been a bachelor living alone for nearly a year and a half, and it takes some getting used to.
I can’t just pop in a movie (which I didn’t do too often) or turn on a computer game (which I did more often) or lose myself among 20 articles online whenever I please. My life is suddenly and irrevocably at anothers leisure.
I’ve realized I’m a very selfish person. Nothing quite like a spouse to hold an intensly focused mirror on myself.
Not that these are second thoughts, they are observations. Change, even good, is hard. And I’m one who generally moves and flows well with change. Apparently not as well as I thought.
Marriage is work, and we’re still barely out of the honeymoon.
The benefits. Learning to communicate more directly and preemptively, that’s a big benefit. My wife is very willing to please me and do things I want, so long as I let her know what I need or desire. But not ever having had to ask anyone before has ingrained a strong habit of independence.
This is especially hard for me because I don’t consider myself to have lots of needs that need regular fulfillment. I get a lot of joy and fulfillment from filling her needs and doing things she wants to do. But she gets joy and fulfillment from meeting my needs too. I’m not very aware of my needs and so I have difficulty letting her know.
The cool thing is that I love her. I love her deeply and truly. She is beautiful and wonderful and my very own princess.
And so even when I get frustrated at myself for not knowing what my own needs are she so deeply wants to fulfill, a little patience and understanding works to keep our love strong.
And now I have a family. My own family.