In what has become a ritual of passage among many of the rich and famous young stars and starlets in America, Spongebob celebrated his 21st birthday by getting to the bars early. Apparently the sponge absorbed a bit too much of the good stuff a bit too quickly, and after leaving the last bar he made it to successfully he was found around the corner by some teenybopper fan club members, fallen down drunk. He is apparently ok, the fan club merely dowsed him in a large bucket of water, squeezing firmly but gently until most of the alcohol washed away.
In other news today, the blogger Matthew celebrated a quiet birthday, he’s past the 21 stage and did not imbibe, but spent a quiet day helping set up a volleyball court at his church and attending a friends high-school graduation party. Matthew did not appreciate the fact that he shared a birthday with Spongebob; “someone needs to give that guy a serious squeeze someday” but accepts that he can’t really do anything about it. Instead he wishes that people would be famous for actually accomplishing something and we’d forget these social sponges who seem to soak up so much of the publics attention doing stupid things.
Spongebob was unable to comment coherently.