NEWS FLASH: Hedonist Pursuits Unfulfilling

People adapt to income shifts relatively quickly; the long-lasting benefits are essentially zero.

So far, the single most important discovery in happiness research is the idea of hedonic adaptation. Put simply, we take things for granted after a while. Experiences are so much harder to get used to because they are unique events. When you buy a car, for a few months you cherish it, but within a year you’re totally used to it.

The more you can do to slow down that pattern of getting used to things, the better. One of my recommendations is to stop, take note, and give thanks–not necessarily to God but just to reflect on what you’ve achieved and what you’ve got. You need to stop and think, “Actually, I’m damn fortunate.”

You Learn Things When You Have Sons, Like…

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh”, it’s already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old boy.

11.) ‘Play Dough’ and ‘microwave’ should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super Glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCRs do not eject peanut butter & jelly sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

I really could not resist posting this. I haven’t laughed this hard for a list in a long time.

 Found on Manbottle.com - some of the humor on this site is rather off-color.

Post #200: Bill Of No Rights

While popularly attributed to Georgia State Representative Mitchell Kay, Snopes reports this piece was actually written by self-described philosopher and Libertarian Party Senate Candidate Lewis Napper. Even Ann Landers got that wrong.

We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to our great-great-great-grandchildren, and ourselves, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, deluded, and other mentally weak folk who surround us.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but No one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This nation is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not just you! You may leave the room, change the channel, express a different opinion, etc., But the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be. Accept it.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone truly in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we’re just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don’t be surprised if the rest of us try to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don’t be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won’t have the right to a car, a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You don’t have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won’t lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you want to. However, we are not required to parent the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our blood and money battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.

ARTICLE IX: You don’t have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to freely pursue happiness - which, by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

Note that America is not an isolated nation, an island in a sea of storms. The prevalence of global communication and transportation have made it impossible to remain isolated in the way Lewis propounds. Not only is it impossible to remain isolated, it is unconscionable to leave humans to die horribly at the hands of “every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.” Particularly for Christians, we are not called to tuck our heads in the sand, crossing our fingers and hoping everything works out. Instead we are called to live with a passion for others physical, emotional, and spiritual freedom and salvation.

Besides Article VIII, this list is definitely something which might just do some good taped to a whole lot of walls, required reading prior to submitting any court claim, read every night on the evening news, and set as a filter through which every bill must pass before it can even be considered on the floor of any house of government.

By the way, this post makes 200. I, Pandora has been averaging 70 visits a week for a while now. It’s been a lot of work (I’ve tried blogging two other times before I, Pandora) posting nearly every work day since beginning of February, but it has been very rewarding. Maybe someday soon I’ll tell just how rewarding.

Flag Of Our Fathers, Flag Of Our Own

A Flag for our fathers, a Flag of our own.
Flies over our land, and guards our home.
For freedom it flies, foundations of stone
It never will fall, this Flag of our own

.

On this flag day, do not forget either the God who gave us this land, or the men and women, our mothers and fathers who fought for this land, or those brave souls who are dying even now for the land our flag flies over. When I was in Italy it was an emotional experience to see in Rome the American Embassy and our flag flying bravely in the foreign land. Remember.

Evolution: The Lie Disbelieved

It would seem, after decades of required teaching of Evolution in America without any balance or criticism, that the majority of people in America today would believe that Evolution is enough to explain the origin of man. But a series of Gallup polls show this not to be true, indeed a full 2/3rds of Americans believe to some extent that God created the world in it’s present form in the last 10,000 years.

The article is quick to point out how Republicans tend to believe a literal Creation more readily than Democrats, implying a mental deficit. But the ability to question ones own belief is a sign of mental maturity, and I would submit that it is the close-minded Democrats who are at a deficit here, if any exists. And I would further submit it is no mental deficit to disbelieve, but a spiritual one, and that is all the more dangerous.

Time Travel Is Not Possible As We Know It Today

The government has no functioning time machine admits Rep. Adam Smith from Washington state who is a member of a Congressional armed forces committee and is prohibited from disclosing classified military secrets. In keeping with his oath, though, he would not confirm or deny the existence of military shrink rays.

Stephen Colbert, host of Comedy Central’s “Colbert Report” interviewed Smith for 90 minutes as part of his “Better Know a District” series in which he hopes to interview all 435 House members. The interview was on anything he thought he could make Smith look like a fool on… and he succeeded.

Cobert asked Smith how many committees he was a member of. Smith seemed surprised when Cobert quoted a number in the high 20’s.

Smith was also surprised when Cobert asked about the scope and purpose of the Congressional soccer committee, a committee he did not realize he was a member of.

Watch the show to learn more.

A Great Cloud Of Witnesses

Christians are again the most persecuted people group on earth.

There are now more than 300 million Christians who are either threatened with violence or legally discriminated against simply because of their faith - more than any other religion. Christians are no longer, as far as I am aware, thrown to the lions. But from China, North Korea and Malaysia, through India, Pakistan and Sri Lanka to Egypt, Saudi Arabia and Turkey, they are subjected to legalised discrimination, violence, imprisonment, relocation and forced conversion. Even in supposedly Christian Europe, Christianity has become the most mocked religion, its followers treated with public suspicion and derision.

Anthony Brown, Europe Correspondent for the Times, calls himself a Liberal Democrat Atheist and claims that fighting persecution against Christians will lessen the rise of what he calls “Christian Fundamentalism”. This is an intriguing claim considering that it is during times and in areas of severe persecution that the Christian church thrives most heartily. God is apparently using this persecution to bring about an awakening. I say bring on the persecution, I hate pain and loss and persecution as much as the next person, but if that is what it takes for Christians to reclaim their identity not as some club to attend on Sunday, but as the chosen of God tasked with being representatives of His Glory here on earth, then bring it on.

In Rememberence Of Flag Day

In “The Fourth in Salvador,” O. Henry wrote a short line appropriate for consumption on Flag Day:

“You can’t appreciate home till you’ve left it, money till it’s spent, your wife till she’s joined a woman’s club, nor Old Glory till you see it hanging on a broomstick on the shanty of a consul in a foreign town.”

The entire piece is a cute, albeit ambling and casual story of a Fourth of July celebration in Salvador by one, Billy Casparis, and a small band of American sojourners, including a Brit game enough to join, who inadvertently save a revolution. Read it if you have time.

New Custom Theme

Hey all and welcome to I, Pandora. If you’re here for the first time you probably notice a few page fragments floating around near the end of the pages, and some of the links don’t work quite as designed right now.

With great thanks to Daniel,  I, Pandora is rolling out a new theme, custom designed just for this site. We’re still ironing out the kinks and making sure it works the way it is supposed to.

If you see anything amiss visually or otherwise on the site, please leave a comment on this post and we’ll work on getting it fixed.

This Is Country Country

Driving south through Illinois on my way from Chicago to Springfield for a family wedding, I finally outrun the Chicago stations and press the scan button on my radio. My iPod has for some reason forgotten all the music I loaded so carefully on it last night and so I am at the mercy of the great American leveler, radio.

The scan button brings up Country. I like Country music, it’s the music of the heart of America. Music that is not afraid to cry or laugh, not afraid to be proud of America or to be American. Country music is for the most part stories of truth or stories of humanity. There are sordid stories of unfulfilling love and touching stories of true love. Stories of pain and sorrow and stories of joy and achievement. Stories with purpose and stories with laughter. Country music is beautiful music and it’s a shame it is so often reviled.

 Today I drove through Country Country, and I loved every song.