I Knew It

Apparently, by studying chimpanzees and their hunting habits, scientists who look inside the box for the answers to life the universe and everything are now surmising and postulating that it was women who invented the first weapons. Previous ideas ranged along the lines of hairy man-beasts sharpening sticks and poking each others eyes out around the camp fire until some extra-cranially-endowed-but-still-hairy man-beast decided these sticks would work great for poking the bad guys too and for making instant shish-kabobs out of the various food groups comprising their diets.

I knew all along, the women are the violent ones. The guys really just want to stay home and play video games. The women are the ones that get all worked up when the guy goes over to his buddies house and plays video games there, the guy couldn’t care less. Not that I have any proof that I’ve known this, but I did.

Of course, you know what this means: the women finally have proof they’ve actually lead a society in the past. I mean, think of this, the classic image is of the cave man, hairy-crap-for-brains himself, clocking the women over the head and dragging her off the to the cave to cook and clean for him. Then through the ages it’s always been the men, apparently, who’ve gone and done the fighting and dying and ruling and trying. The women gave advice, patched the guys back together, and sighed and rolled their eyes as the men went back out and started fighting again. And the women claim they should be running things. Well, apparently now there’s proof that the women really have done it before. So now I don’t feel so bad about voting for Hillarious Rodamn Clifton.

3 thoughts on “I Knew It”

  1. Yeah, I heard about that also this morning on the radio.

    Honestly it still amazes me how badly people just want to be like apes and like all of nature. Just because an animal uses a stick to eat or kill and then eat or drops a nut from the sky to break it on the ground, the conclusion is formed that they are just like us; “so we’re not alone!” Its only logical to make fun of it all.

    Let all just ignore how profoundly more advanced man-kind is over any animal species! Okay when a chimp can write a readable and rational sentence, much less a thesis on the meaning of life, I’ll pay attention. Or even easier, forming a complex tool from the surroundings; like how native americas fashioned arrows.

    Anatomically speaking they are most similar species to us, but still FAR from being the same. My writing of “More like Man to Ape” is making more sense now. 🙂

  2. Again in regards to the theme dude, I’m just not feel’n it dog. I mean this totally reminds me of xanga themes and then I can’t find “login” and the “edit” button is just an “e” and now my smilie face is in a box. :S . Got something a little more plain and masculine. lol.

  3. Ok, yea, I was seeing how it would feel for a while, you can’t just get a feel from a quick peek most of the time. This one has a few too many HIDDEN bells and whistles.

    Actually, I need to look up some info on this, but I heard somewhere that, in a meta-syndrome similar to what we call Stockholm Syndrome, spending time with anything tends to create feelings and an increased investment in that thing. God got it best of course when He said: “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” But apply that to that lady who spent so much time with that ape, “teaching” it language and “finding” elements of intelligence in it. This syndrome apparently says that the more time one spends with an unintelligent object or creature, the surer it is that person will begin to attribute intelligence to that object or creature. And this is particularly common with primates, who have a particularly well developed sense of curiosity and learning, and are more behavior-adaptable than many other critters (highly technical term for anything besides us that moves or wants to).

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