Apparently, by studying chimpanzees and their hunting habits, scientists who look inside the box for the answers to life the universe and everything are now surmising and postulating that it was women who invented the first weapons. Previous ideas ranged along the lines of hairy man-beasts sharpening sticks and poking each others eyes out around the camp fire until some extra-cranially-endowed-but-still-hairy man-beast decided these sticks would work great for poking the bad guys too and for making instant shish-kabobs out of the various food groups comprising their diets.
I knew all along, the women are the violent ones. The guys really just want to stay home and play video games. The women are the ones that get all worked up when the guy goes over to his buddies house and plays video games there, the guy couldn’t care less. Not that I have any proof that I’ve known this, but I did.
Of course, you know what this means: the women finally have proof they’ve actually lead a society in the past. I mean, think of this, the classic image is of the cave man, hairy-crap-for-brains himself, clocking the women over the head and dragging her off the to the cave to cook and clean for him. Then through the ages it’s always been the men, apparently, who’ve gone and done the fighting and dying and ruling and trying. The women gave advice, patched the guys back together, and sighed and rolled their eyes as the men went back out and started fighting again. And the women claim they should be running things. Well, apparently now there’s proof that the women really have done it before. So now I don’t feel so bad about voting for Hillarious Rodamn Clifton.